The 8 best strains with off-putting names, according to weed cultivators and breeders
Slap & Tickle, Granola Funk, Cat Piss, these are three varieties that have at least one thing in common. Their names trigger visceral responses, and that’s what it’s all about. On the one hand weed, which by slapping and tickling can become an experience similar to smoking a typical indica-dominant hybrid. Cat piss, on the other hand, is such an aggressive smell that is so difficult to get rid of that it’s almost unfathomable that anyone would want to smoke it. But, as the weed saying goes, don’t trust a strain by its name.
As weeds enter the mainstream, growers are stepping out of the shadows and finding ways to express, highlight, and attract the attention of a wide variety of smokers. Enter root name. They are a breeder’s choice and are often derived from attributes like taste, smell, ancestry, effects, and color, but can also be based on more fuzzy things like a random memory from the breeder or something they experienced while smoking.
Naming is a form of branding and self-expression for breeders, and they should maintain that creativity and agency. However, novel names can be off-putting, meaning people miss out on new experiences and effects that they might otherwise benefit from.
Unique species and the people who call them
Classic strain names like Sour Diesel and Blue Dream tell you what to expect, and they will always be available. Even so, breeders these days are experimenting and perfecting new crosses, many of which sound like things you want to avoid, but the flavors and effects might surprise you. With that in mind, we had a chat with four different cultivators about what fun strains they are growing and why you should try them.
Ethan Woods, Co-Founder and CEO of Desert Underground, made an effort to make the best possible genetics he could get his hands on, and directed research and development for two years before starting Desert Underground. Today Desert Underground has forty grow rooms and crops every three weeks so they are continually learning and perfecting the product.
Parks McMillan, Director of Cultivation at Seed & Smith, doesn’t play it safe when betting on strains. Seed & Smith’s strain catalog offers depth and reach as Parks ensures connoisseurs are targeted with unique strains and newer smokers with strains with fruity, sweeter profiles.
Veritas Fine Cannabis’ head cultivator Shane Reynolds uses his years of cannabis growing experience to acquire high quality genetics, cultivating a number of the strains on this list, many of which have names as powerful as this Flower itself.
Kenny Powers, also known as Powerzzzup, has cultivated strains for a brand that comes as close to a household name as it gets in the cannabis space: cookies. Not only are his rappers licensed, but they also pull long lines of smokers into the cookies pharmacies. The Cookies Fam regularly gathers crowds similar to a Jordan release day before there was an SNKRS app.
Here are eight strains with disgusting names as recommended by the breeders and breeders who cultivate them.
GMO (garlic mushroom onion aka garlic cookies)
We wouldn’t be sure if we didn’t start with GMOs, a variety that paved the way for some of the varieties on this list. GMO is a cross of GSC and Chemdog and has a pungent, funky odor similar to that of garlic. You might not come for the taste, but you should stick with the effects that make the garlic bite permanent. It can cleanse the mind and melt the body, giving way to calm focus without the intensity you can expect from high levels of THC.
After you’ve tried GMOs and are ready to step down the old dusty path, grab Garlic Road, a phenotype of GMOs with a name that is a little more down the line. Garlic Road, a cross of GMOs and I-95 named after a Colorado highway, has a sweet aroma and GMO-like effects that are uplifting. GMO leaves most people relaxed yet focused, and Garlic Road tends to do the same – but with an added smile and pep in your step.
Come on mouth
Yuk Mouth isn’t going to ruin your teeth, but it might give you cotton mouth, so you may want to grab some mints before you light up. This GMO and Dosidos cross has an aggressive nose, and if that’s not your thing, then maybe the cerebral euphoria and total body relaxation is it.
Described by Reynolds as “Old School Creeper”, the effects of Yuk Mouth may be latent, but when they hit you get forced into a horizontal position wondering where the next drink is.
Let’s talk to the unicorn in the room. No, this strain doesn’t smell like poop. Thanks to its parents, GMO and Sophisticated Lady, Unicorn Poop gives off citric diesel notes. The name is a nod to the color and sheen of the nugs. Unicorn poop is a beauty with a very distinct layer of trichomes that make it glow.
If you’re still on the fence, please your inner child who probably would have loved to spend a few hours with a unicorn, and while that’s not the case here, the giggling, euphoric effects are barely a second away.
The name “Fly” comes from the parents Florida Kush and The Y, but it could also have predicted how the strain would hit the market: with a lot of buzz and difficult to catch. This variety of cookies, bred by Powerzzzup, hits the body hard and prepares the mind with its cerebral effects. The taste is sweet with gaseous notes – a little tastier than the name suggests.
Poon Tang Pie
Come for the cake, stay for the tropical mood. Poon Tang Pie is a cross between Tropicana, Grape Pie and Papaya and is suitable for taste followers. With notes of berries, citrus and pine, this strain will make your mouth water, improve your mood and leave you in a euphoria that washes gently over your body. The name, which is a nod to the comedy film Pootie Tang, refers to the papaya and grape cake line that gives the strain its sweet, fruity flavors.
Who would have thought weed could taste like a hamburger? We thank the genius who smoked and thought: “Weeds should taste like meat.” MeatBreath, a cross between meatloaf and Mendo Breath, is relaxing and yet cerebrally stimulating. It starts behind the eyes but follows with a burst of energy that makes it perfect for evening creativity or focus time before closing your eyes for the night. This strain is said to have been named for both its ancestry and its homage, particularly Lammatem, which had an outbreak over a decade ago.
Not repulsive, just unusual. Smoke multi-hyphenated like the rapper / businessman Berner and give Gary Payton a try. The story of Kenny Powers, the breeder of cookies, about the choice of the name “Gary Payton” gives us an insight into the cultivation process. What is now known as Gary Payton was formerly “Strain Number 20” of many of the phenotypes he tested. Trunk number 20 stood out, and it happened to be Gary Payton’s old number.
This collaboration is the real business folks. Cookies worked with Gary Payton to license and bring this strain to market. If you’re familiar with Gary Payton’s revered NBA career, you can expect this burden to feel like a press in court, but it’s pretty balanced. Gary Payton provides relaxed energy that relieves body ache while creating mental clarity. It’s no surprise that Berner contacted Powers prior to his studio sessions about this exposure.
Featured image by Gina Coleman / Weedmaps